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 Unsocialized puppy HELP

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lillith87
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Wed Dec 17, 2014 4:40 pm

@amymeme wrote:
(he says "they are only going to die and I don't want the hearbreak"    ).


My mom is the reason I love havinig animals because she always had them when I was a kid, and now she keeps saying to me, why do you get animals, they just tie you down and die on you.
.. I am like wtf mom?

Also she tells me she doesn't like Okami because she hates big dogs, so she won't come over that often because of her..... it hurts when people say things like that.
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amymeme
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Wed Dec 17, 2014 9:08 pm

@lillith87 wrote:

@amymeme wrote:
(he says "they are only going to die and I don't want the hearbreak"    ).



My mom is the reason I love havinig animals because she always had them when I was a kid, and now she keeps saying to me, why do you get animals, they just tie you down and die on you.
.. I am like wtf mom?

Also she tells me she doesn't like Okami because she hates big dogs, so she won't come over that often because of her..... it hurts when people say things like that.

That's particularly hurtful, coming from a Mom. My husband loves deeply and fully. We "had" a cat that long ago decided to live here - (actually, she had kittens in the rafters of my shed), we decided to let her stay because we were starting to have chipmunks move in. Long story short, Mama Kitty wormed her way into Wayne's heart, despite that he is terribly allergic to cats. She lived a long time and died overnight in her sleep while Wayne was at a conference. When he came back he insisted we wrap her in a sheet and bury her. He dug the hole and she was put in her grave, he started to bawl like a baby. Somehow, he always tries to keep his distance from the various animals that adopt us, but they always manage to capture his heart.

Lucy - sounds like you're having a particularly rough day today.
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wpskier222
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Thu Dec 18, 2014 11:55 am

@lillith87 wrote:

@amymeme wrote:
(he says "they are only going to die and I don't want the hearbreak"    ).



My mom is the reason I love havinig animals because she always had them when I was a kid, and now she keeps saying to me, why do you get animals, they just tie you down and die on you.
.. I am like wtf mom?

Also she tells me she doesn't like Okami because she hates big dogs, so she won't come over that often because of her..... it hurts when people say things like that.

Aw! That is sad. Sad We were invited to a big family gathering camping in MA and I was all excited to bring Dizzy and my uncle said, um, well, no dogs. I was like, 'seriously???' we are freaking CAMPING! So, we declined, and my parents then declined because they were really only coming because we were going and the whole thing fell apart. My dad used to always say the same thing about my first husky, Tasha. He always acted annoyed with her and said she was a pain and blah blah blah. As she got older though she won him over and he'd baby talk her and give her a pat. Hopefully your mom will come around. I don't mind boarding Diz if I really need to, but I honestly consider him a part of our family. We are a trio and if he's banned, well no thanks.
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Kaytipie
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Fri Jan 02, 2015 9:15 pm

Nothing is working here.... She still wants nothing to do with him. Anymore suggestions? We've tried him showering her with love. We've tried him ignoring her. We've tried him randomly dropping her treats. We've tried him primarily taking care of her (feeding walking etc) she doesn't have any interest in him. When he gets home from work she hides under the table until I get home. Open for more suggestions Sad
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TwisterII
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Sat Jan 03, 2015 12:49 am

Does he ever just lay on the floor with her? I saw where you said he brings her up on the couch, but does he ever just go down and hang out on her level? She seems intimidated by him. It may take her becoming physically bigger before she is ready to trust him. My old dog used to be scared to death of my tall bearded uncle. He was fully grown before he had enough confidence to be comfortable with him. Now they are fine together.

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Kaytipie
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Sat Jan 03, 2015 7:30 am

Sometimes he gets to her level but you're right I did hear that it builds trust to go down next to her on her level .. Still doesn't seem to help
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aljones
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Sat Jan 03, 2015 10:16 pm

Kay, I always seem to come up with the unwanted answers but ... I have to say that I think all the "trying" is having the opposite effect from what you're looking for. Some dogs like everyone (my Avalanche) some dogs like some people (my Sasha) and some dogs just aren't going to relax around some people until they're good and ready to - if ever.

Also, trying "everything" is going to be off-putting - all you're doing is showing the pup that you're stressed which is not going to help.

You both need to just relax, realize that you have a pup who's more tuned in to you than she is to him and let nature take its course. She'll probably warm up to him eventually, if she doesn't then she'll probably grow to accept him ...

Story time: When I moved down to Terlingua one of my neighbors (lives about 2 miles away) kept dropping in and asking if there was anything he could do for me. Now, I'm a bit of an independent recluse by nature and I finally had to ask him to "Please, just leave me alone"; the long and the short of it was I finally took out a restraining order to keep him off my property - stalking and harassment - in general, he's considered a nice enough guy but I'd had enough. You don't want the effort you're putting into getting your pup to accept your bf to reach a point where she's "had enough".
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seattlesibe
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Sat Jan 03, 2015 10:32 pm

Full agreement, Al.

I get tense just reading the updates about the extensive effort being made to get this puppy to like him. I can only imagine how the puppy feels.

What does the puppy he wants look like, or act like? What are the specific behaviors or signs of liking/loving/bonding etc. that you are both looking for?

Is he seriously aware of and taking responsibility for the way his behaviors are affecting the puppy's? If you honestly said, "honey, I really think you are causing this rejection" how do you think he would respond-verbally and emotionally?
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MiyasMomma
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Sat Jan 03, 2015 11:39 pm

I'm going to shift gears from every body else, just a tad.......how is your pup with other humans, men in particular? By now she is another month old, so roughly over 3 months old, closer to 4. So have you been socializing her to other people? Forget boyfriend for a moment(I know he is important in both of your lives), but does she react timid to men in general? Or is it everybody, or just certain type of people? Why I ask is because socializing is so key on success in the home, and her surroundings. You want a puppy to experience many different things, to encourage being able to behave in a good way in different situations, such as loud noises, the boom of thunder, loud motorcycles, different people for examples. Have you thought of taking her to an obedience or training classes? I understand that some of this is difficult until she is all set on her shots, however, this is a social problem, not your boyfriend problem.

I agree with Al in that every dog is different, and I agree with Jeff in that huskies sense everything whether it's a good thing or bad. She senses his negative "energy", him being stressed, him feeling disgruntled over her not accepting him, him not being calm.

A good example, that is generic and concerns all dogs, are why dogs bite people - dogs can sense peoples heart rates go up, they can sense fear through sweat(scent), an old saying is never let a dog sense that you are afraid of them or they will bite you. Now translate that into a timid dog, one who is a puppy and senses one of her humans being stressed out, she senses something is wrong.....I know that this sounds absurd, and yes she's only a puppy, however, dogs are very in tune to how we feel, on the outside he is happy and wants the interaction, but on the inside, he is stressing on will she like me. She knows this.

Lastly huskies, for the most part are independent. It takes at least a year for many to become the main owners dog, a secondary owner may have to wait longer, it's their nature. Yes they are pack oriented, but in many ways they have to be butt heads first, before they are part of the group.

Imho, I would socialize her, take her to classes(if bf comes along all the better), take her to places that allow dogs, desensitize her to as much as possible, keeping bf a part of your little group. My girl is very much my dog, however, she is very much my husbands too. She reacts to us in totally different ways, he's the fun guy who takes her jeeping, I'm the fun gal who lets her sniff all the daisy's on walks. He(bf) will fit in eventually, just give it time, and relax.....
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MiyasMomma
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PostSubject: Re: Unsocialized puppy HELP   Sun Jan 04, 2015 1:58 am

Because the household loves chicken, and I was distracted by ravenous thugs(Miya and Kitana) I did not finish my last paragraph........I'm suggesting instead of you doing things with pup or bf only doing things with pup, have both of you doing things with pup. Perhaps your human interaction will be seen as a positive to the puppy, she will warm up to him quicker. Have both of you walk her, train her, go to places, feed her, etc.
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