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 advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing

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Caffeiniac
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Newborn


Join date : 2015-03-04
Location : SoCal

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PostSubject: advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing   advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing EmptyTue Dec 01, 2015 5:52 pm

Kuma, our very elderly mutt, is nearing the end of her life. In fact, this will probably be the week. When the time comes, we're planning on having a vet come to our home to ease her on her way. Neither my wife nor I have ever had two dogs at the same time before, and we're hoping some folks on the forum might have some insight into helping Oni, our young Sibe, cope. He's already very stressed, though we really don't know how much of that is a reaction to our state of mind, and how much is in response to Kuma's condition. We would be grateful to anyone willing to share their thoughts or experiences with this kind of situation? Thanks.
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aljones
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aljones

Male Join date : 2014-08-18
Location : Terlingua, Texas

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PostSubject: Re: advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing   advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing EmptyTue Dec 01, 2015 6:04 pm

I'm sorry that you have to endure this but regrettably it seems to be a fact of life with all of us who have dogs.

Oni is probably both sensing that your bear is nearing her end and picking up on your feelings. I do know that dogs who have lived together will grieve when the other passes over the bridge but other than saying to give him all the attention he can handle I really can't help ... sorry.
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MiyasMomma
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MiyasMomma

Female Join date : 2014-06-26
Location : west Texas

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PostSubject: Re: advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing   advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing EmptyTue Dec 01, 2015 6:22 pm

I am so sorry to hear this, on a side note welcome to the forum. For me, never had a multi dog home until now, the last 6 weeks. However, I can relate in the pet world in general. Before dogs came into our lives we had cats. For several years we had 3, the two oldest had bonded, there was a 4 year age difference. When our oldest suffered chronic kidney failure, we knew it was a matter of a short time she would cross over to the bridge. We got a kitten, so for about 6 months we had a 4 cat household. The kitten took the pressure off of the oldest, as far as playing with the others, she could rest and relax. The kitten also helped the bonded healthy cat to form a new bond. Although it may sound crazy taking care of an elderly pet and taking care of a baby, it worked for us. The only other example is much more recent. Our last cat lived a long and healthy life and was a part of Miya's routine for the last 2.5 years, she passed in March.Also, my Miya had bonded quite closely with our neighbors husky, they moved away. Miya was quite stressed, and lonely. losing her 2 buddies in 6 months time. We had always planned on getting a puppy, and in October we brought ours home. Miya is no longer lonely and is quite happy. The lost of her 2 buddies seem to no longer effect her, since she has a new one. I am not saying get one now, but I find through my experiences over the years having a new sibling in the home helps dramatically for the one left behind.

I really wish none of us had to go through it, seems so unfair in life that our best friends don't live as long as we do, yet they feel lonely, sad, stressed, just like us. I have no idea if this post of mine helps at all. But for our family, getting a new friend within a short time of losing one, has helped us greatly, as well as helping the other pet that is still here too.

Take care of each other, and know that we all can relate to this. You're in my thoughts.
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Artic_Wind
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Artic_Wind

Male Join date : 2014-07-23
Location : San Diego, California

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PostSubject: Re: advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing   advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing EmptyTue Dec 01, 2015 10:07 pm

This is a tough one. And I'm very sorry you are going through it. I've had huskies my whole life, and inevitably one goes before the other. Just as Oni is sensing not only Kuma's situation, but your stress and sadness as well, Oni will continue to sense your sadness once Kuma's passes. You really can't cover it up either, dogs are too intelligent for that. Time is really the key here. You do want to function as normally as possible for Oni, of course give her extra love and attention, but Oni will need some time just as you do. My last two, a bit different situation than yours, when Malukhai had passed, Anuschka did search for him, there were times when, for going on a walk for example, that she waited for him to pop up and follow her. Oni will miss Kuma. There will be some adjustment time. I don't know if another dog is wanted in your future, if one is, like others have said, the sooner the better, imo, it helps, not only you, but Oni as well. You must keep in the mindset that you are not forgetting or dis honoring Kuma, it's quite the opposite.

Good luck to you, I really do feel for you. To say it's tough is an understatement.

Also, if you have friends with dogs, maybe they would understand if you could let Oni spend some time once in awhile, playing and just hanging out, helps them get their mind off things if only for a little while
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Caffeiniac
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Newborn


Join date : 2015-03-04
Location : SoCal

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PostSubject: Re: advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing   advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing EmptyWed Dec 02, 2015 7:36 pm

Thank you Al, Renee and Jimmy for taking the time to respond. Jimmy, we're lucky to live in a very animal-centric neighborhood, and our neighbors have been very understanding and supportive.

In case anyone else stumbles across this thread and is wondering, as we were, whether the younger dog should be present when the older dog passes on: the vet who will be helping Kuma on her way suggested that having Oni present would help him with his own grieving process.

In the meantime, I keep coming back to Agnes Sligh Turnbull's comment on dogs: "Dogs' lives are too short. Their only fault, really."
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Artic_Wind
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Artic_Wind

Male Join date : 2014-07-23
Location : San Diego, California

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PostSubject: Re: advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing   advice on young dog coping with old dog's passing EmptyThu Dec 03, 2015 1:55 am

That is great! My Anuschka was only 4 when her littermate brother died and a lady on my walk who later found out about it would bring out her dog as I was walking by to give Anuschka a distraction, to see her running around and playing and having this great time like the young husky she was after seeing her all day just laying around or moping was a tremendous relief to me.

Thank you for posting that about whether or not to have the younger dog present, it's something I've always wondered as well. Malukhai died here at home where Anuschka had no choice but to be present, she was very quiet, just before he passed, she went up to him, put her nose on him, then licked his ear a couple times and walked away. In my mind she was saying her goodbye. She still looked for him the next day and stuff but I think it was more out of routine, and I think you will find that with Oni, he will noticeably miss certain things in his routine.

Again, I am very sorry.
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