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 Puppy Bonding

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carbon8
Newborn
Newborn


Join date : 2015-10-31

PostSubject: Puppy Bonding   Thu Jun 09, 2016 10:49 pm

Hey guys,

Got my girl Maya 3 weeks ago and so far she has been great, she is 4 months old now and we got her a little late. Its starting to bother me a bit that she seems to be bonding better with my girlfriend than me and I do not know what to do about this. I think it could be multiple reasons.

She was as a puppy with a single female owner, so she may be more accepting to females

My girlfriend will bend the rules for her, let her wonder downstairs untethered, jump on the couch and bed (sleeps in her crate though and feeds in there, Maya loves her crate) but lets her play and do what she wants when I am not home. Actually all accidents we have had with her are when my girlfriend was with her because she lets her wander, so that may be because she gets more freedom when she is around

Lastly, my girlfriend is 7 months pregnant, and animals are instinctive about that kind of thing.

I mean, we have a great relationship, just went on a 30 minute run, and when I am home with her she will come lay next to me etc.. but as soon as my girlfriend enters the room or comes home she leaves me and goes to her, will only lay next to her when we are together etc...

Its kinda a bummer :/

Any thoughts on if this will pass, or what to expect to change this?
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aljones
Senior
Senior
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Male Join date : 2014-08-18
Location : Terlingua, Texas

PostSubject: Re: Puppy Bonding   Thu Jun 09, 2016 11:46 pm

If it weren't for the fact that the girlfriend is 7 months pregnant, I'd say that it's time to lay down the law - s it is, you'd be taking your life in your hands, I think.

Like you, I see several reasons, but the one you give is quite a bit further down on my list.

1)  I get the impression that you GF is there with Maya quite a bit when you're out (at work?)  There's a natural tendncy to bond to the one who's there most.
2) She lets Maya get away with things you don't.  Any child (human, canine, etc) will like the person who spoils them better than they like the "harsh old man" who expects them to behave.
3) There are multiple sets of rules that Maya know how to follow - yours, your girlfriends and both of you together.  She seems to be able to handle these - thus manipulating you.

How to handle this - lot's of luck! - for example, at 7 months it's probably getting uncomfortable for GF to get down to Maya's level, so letting her on the couch is natural - you have to decide whether it's worth it to tactfully discuss rules.

... and, no, it won't pass as long as you and your GF have two sets of rules .... and even with one set of rules, if your GF is with Maya more than you are and your time with her isn't <lost the word> "good" time, you're still going to be fighting a, probably losing, battle.

_________________

“Properly trained, a man can be dog’s best friend.”
Corey Ford
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amymeme
Senior
Senior
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Female Join date : 2013-12-20

PostSubject: Re: Puppy Bonding   Fri Jun 10, 2016 12:40 am

Walks, rides in the car, playing tug, special treats that only you give her... things she likes that she gets only from you.  Maybe, at night, get on the floor with her and run her belly, scratch her ears. My son is a field engineer, is away from home for days/weeks at a time and we take care of his dog. He has bonded in that he's the only one who plays rough and tumblr with him. And gets down on the floor and stretched out beside him, spooning. You do the training... with treats. I catch a handful of kibble in my pocket all the time... Ami gets a piece here and there
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lepp1892
Teenager
Teenager
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Male Join date : 2014-02-18
Location : Gainesville, GA

PostSubject: Re: Puppy Bonding   Fri Jun 10, 2016 7:55 am

I agree, It's all about how you spend your time with your pup. My girlfriend spent a lot more time with our girl when she was a pup because I was gone 9-10 hours a day with work and she was only going to school with only being gone at most 4 hours during the day. We have a great bond and I believe it is stronger than my Girl friends and Gabby's bond. At 4 months old I would of thought that she would of been bonded with my GF when she got older but this is not the case. I was always the one to take her on longer walks (which in my mind is one of the best ways to form a bond with a dog). I also always played a bit rougher with her like Amy said about her son and his dog and I believe that also has helped.

Also, Just an FYI - a 4 month old puppy should not be going on 30 minute runs unless it is running around on the grass somewhere. It is not good for their growing joints.
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Rumflower
Adult
Adult
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Female Join date : 2015-06-16
Location : Kansas City

PostSubject: Re: Puppy Bonding   Fri Jun 10, 2016 2:44 pm

My loki is a very weird creature and bonded with my fiancé very well. When he comes home loki gets so happy and I'm just like "I've been the one taking care of you, you little $#%$!" Haha. But at the end of the day he snuggles up next to me, not him, so it's all good i guess. I think they just get different things from different people. He, like, amys son, always played rougher with him than i did, so i think the excitement and play is what he gets from him and the care and affection is what he gets from me. It sounds like you guys might have the same dynamic.
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