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 Male has A Fear

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Michigan989
Newborn
Newborn
Michigan989

Join date : 2011-10-31

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyMon Oct 31, 2011 11:22 pm

We have two sibes, the first we got as a pup at 2 months old. We wanted a companion for her and figured we would look for a little bit older dog instead of getting another pup in june. We found a beautiful male that was 11 months old at the time named steele. The woman that had him lived in an apartment and was going to college, not the best environment for him. She mentioned over the phone that he was very weary of men but hadn't spend much time around males so he would likely outgrow it. We figured he was worth checking out so my wife and I took out 1 and a half year old female Carly to meet him and see how everyone got along. Just as Steele's original owner said he was weary of me at first and barked when we entered the apartment. Both dogs began to play and Steele even came up and smelled and licked my hand, but he wouldnt let me pet him, he just ran back. The original owner even commented on how surprised she was that steele licked my hand. She went on to explain how usually he just hides from men and how he really didnt like her boyfriend. I asked if anything happened to make him that way and she said no. Well we figured that with steele being so young that he would likely get used to me and get over his fears. Its been four months now and he still hasnt changed towards me. He WILL take treats from me right out of my hand has from day one, just cautiously, Ive tried being the one to feed them, giving him "special treats he usually dont get". He dont bark at me anymore unless im petting and playing with Carly, its like he gets jealous he will get closer but still keeps distance, he then tries to play with Carly. So i think hes just jealous of her. Hes fine with my wife and both girls, and is even fine with my 14 month old son, but has this fear of me. Ive researched this a lot and have tried a lot of different things to cure this. So does anyone have any advice of what i could do to try to get steele over this fear of men?
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Michigan989
Newborn
Newborn
Michigan989

Join date : 2011-10-31

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Re: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyMon Oct 31, 2011 11:27 pm

Oh and the other day i called Carly up on my bed, Steele jumped up too and even layed down licked my face only when Carly was giving me attention. When Carly would jump off he would of she jumped back up he would too. But yet he still avoids me at every turn in and out of house......
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arooroomom
Husky Collector
arooroomom

Female Join date : 2009-12-13
Location : South Fl

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Re: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyMon Oct 31, 2011 11:51 pm

Typed up a response but my lovely Android thought it would do me a favor and delete it.

I would try to spend more time with Steels 1on 1. Dedicated walks and even enrolling in a basic obedience or rally class together. It seems like he's come a long way with the help of your female he just needs help doing it alone. Have the walks be unstructured and just enjoy each others company.

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Here4thePics
Comedic Relief


Male Join date : 2009-07-15

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Re: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyTue Nov 01, 2011 5:53 am

Ex owners boyfriend beat or terrorized the dog she just didn't know it.
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Dee&Frankie
Adult
Adult
Dee&Frankie

Female Join date : 2011-03-07
Location : So. Florida

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Re: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyTue Nov 01, 2011 10:07 am

It sounds like he is warming up. Dogs with insecurities and trust issues can take months to form bonds and trust. He may bond with you but not trust others. I can honestly say that mine took a good 6 months before he truly trusted me. Two years later, I'm the ONLY one he trusts. He is good with everyone in my home and developing trust for my son, but I am the one he looks to for reassurance.
Do like Kristina said. Spend one on one time. Don't just be the "special treat" guy, that won't gain trust. Be the one to walk him, feed him, groom him, and take care of his daily needs and he will see you are someone he can depend on and trust.
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jbealer
Husky Stalker
jbealer

Female Join date : 2009-05-29
Location : Denver, CO

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Re: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyTue Nov 01, 2011 1:15 pm

Believe me when i say it TAKES MONTHS maybe YEARS to work him back to trust, but it can be done. Len is right on the money i bet the "boyfriend" beat the dog.
we adopted our girl Sierra all most 3yrs ago and just this last yr has she really made a connection with my husband. our girl WAS abused by HER male breeder before being rescued and in 4 homes before ours because she could not get along with the "man" of the home. when we met her in the parking lot she did let my husband pet her and seemed calm around him and the rescuers said that was a good sign, just like the hand licking you got at first meet. but when we got home she followed me EVERYWHERE and when my husband would get up in the morning she would bark at him and growl. it took a few months for her to work out of that, then she would be on the bed with him and then she would come when he called her, its just baby steps that take some time for the dog to build the trust. keep up what your doing and like others suggest become the feeder, walker, treat giver and one on one time is a must! steele will come around and when you build that trust between the 2 of you it will help for other men as well, our girl is a good judged of people and if someone is not "right" she does not go near them. dont expect Steele to like everyone. im glad you are working so hard that is great and in time it will pay off Smile

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Huskyluv
Resident Nutritional Bookworm
Huskyluv

Female Join date : 2009-06-23
Location : Huntsville, AL

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Re: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyTue Nov 01, 2011 1:49 pm

You've received lots of great advice so far so I'll try not to repeat anything. But I will reiterate that I would definitely up the one on one time with him. As others have said, don't just be the one that special treats come from. Make sure everything comes from you, all treats, food, grooming, exercise, etc.

I'd hazard a guess that Len is probably right about some sort of abuse going on. We adopted one of ours from a bad home, we were told she'd never been abused (who would admit to that anyway, right?) but everyone that knows our dog Glory is absolutely positive she was abused based on her extreme fearful/aggressive response. We adopted her 3 months after her 3rd birthday and were told that she was very fearful, especially towards men. When we brought her home she lived up to what we were told, she was fearful of everyone but was over the top afraid of all males. She warmed up to me in about a week or two but she remained terrified of my husband. She was very much the way you describe Steele. She would not go near my husband and would always bark and growl at him when he came home from work. I finally decided to make my husband her primary source everything (when he was not working). He gave her treats when he walked in the door, he fed her, all treats came from him, and most importantly he walked her. She hated it when he started walking her and would only move if I was within several feet of her but over the course of several weeks she became more and more comfortable with him holding the lead.

It took MONTHS and MONTHS for my husband to have a serious breakthrough with her and even now things aren't always perfect. We've had Glory for over a year and 7 months now and she will happily jump up and sit on my husband's lap (or beg for his food at dinner) ONLY if I am a few feet away from him. If I'm not there, forget it. And she still barks and growls at him when he comes home from work everyday. She also has only made progress with my husband, all bets are off with any other male...or female for that matter. While she is terrified of everyone, she does seems to come around a bit faster with females rather than males.

Don't get discouraged or give up on him, each individual takes varying amounts of time to cope and work through their issues. As you can see I also have an extreme case and after more than a year and a half we still have a LONG way to go.

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SaraB
Rescue Subject Moderator
SaraB

Female Join date : 2010-09-09
Location : Deltona, FL

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Re: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyTue Nov 01, 2011 5:07 pm

Good advise so far. Just wanted to add that there may or may not have been any abuse. My mom has an aussie who you'd swear had been abused, but we've had her since she was only a few weeks old! Her and one other were the only two to survive parvo from the litter (they were born at the shelter and got it there), so maybe that has something to do with why she seems all screwed up (her sister is the same way). And I've read and experienced this with litters of kittens that I've fostered that there are sometimes fearful puppies in litters. For whatever reason, you sometimes end up with one puppy or kitten who's just really fearful when all the rest of them are fine. I have one kitten right now who is still a little afraid of me and I've had them for 3 weeks now and got her when she was probably around 2 to 3 weeks old. So just wanted to add that.

Hope he starts to warm up! Sounds like you're on the right track.

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-Sara

Male has A Fear Woowoosig
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arooroomom
Husky Collector
arooroomom

Female Join date : 2009-12-13
Location : South Fl

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Re: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyTue Nov 01, 2011 5:31 pm

I agree with Sara.

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26nikita
Senior
Senior


Female Join date : 2010-09-11

Male has A Fear Empty
PostSubject: Re: Male has A Fear   Male has A Fear EmptyTue Nov 01, 2011 8:39 pm

Dakota doesn't like tall bulky men. I have had him since he was 12 weeks old and he has been socialized his whole life around all kinds of people and animals. There are just some men he is ok with and some he will bark at and won't let them near him. He is turning 11 next month so is this something he has been carrying from that early of an age or is it just his personality....
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