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 PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy

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Here4thePics
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:17 am

I do not care what your opinion is;
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Niraya
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:17 am

So much for them impeccable people skills.

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arooroomom
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:18 am

Enough.

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blueeyedghost
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:20 am

@Here4thePics wrote:
I do not care what your opinion is;

That's great, but keep in mind that I am a staff member, and I'd like to direct your attention to Rule #3.

And if you have a problem with me personally, please take it up in a PM.

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Here4thePics
Comedic Relief


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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:26 am

@Niraya wrote:
So much for them impeccable people skills.

Never said they were impeccable, just fine. Its idiots that can't properly quote me that drive me to distraction.

As of late I seem to find the sardonic humor here a bit stifling.
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hypers987
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 1:09 am

Wow. This is my last post (on this thread). All forums are based on people's opinions, and if no one cares about other people's opinions... What's the point? I've met some amazing people here an I cherish all of you! But until things simmer down, I will spend my time and energy elsewhere.

ETA- the first part was directed towards Len not Tori Wink

ETA2- I wasn't fishing for treats, kind of a weird place to give them out. I didn't give any good advice, and didnt say anything profound lol


Last edited by hypers987 on Sat Jan 05, 2013 2:20 pm; edited 1 time in total
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K9_Eric
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 2:39 am

Alright,

I'll be the first to admit that I'm an asshole. I know it, and by now, a lot of you probably know it. With people, I am snarky, rude, and sometimes downright mean in getting my point across. It's my personality, and I own it, but if I want to take part in public discussion with other people, I have to tone it back. I've been reminded of it at Thanksgiving Dinner, work, dog shows, and even on this forum. It's like swearing. I do it a lot, but around clients, I have to clean it up.

We are all dog owners, trainers, etc... We all have individual experiences and training that formed our beliefs. Every one of us has some knowledge that some one else here doesn't have, and may very well need. Of course we won't all agree on everything. That would be a pretty boring forum. It doesn't mean we shouldn't be sharing our opinions and points. It doesn't mean we can't be respectful of everyones ideas.

We all can agree we want what is best for our dogs, regardless of how we get there

Its just stupid to let emotions get in the way of a great learning experience. This place is full of experts in every single aspect of dog training. Letting some differences defeat the usefulness of our combined membership is really just stupid.
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Koda
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 12:05 pm

One thing that I would like to add..

In reading my post over, I realized that what I wrote might have been misleading. I in no way mean or meant to imply that we don't ACTUALLY care about your opinions. Of course we do! What I mean is that we don't care if your opinion differs from our own or that of others.

And... for what it's worth to everyone out there... I want to apologize for my behavior as of late. While it has never been intentional, perhaps my frustrations with a few have been coming out on the many. I am human, I do err, and when I do, I like to think I am a big enough person to apologize. So to all those that I have personally offended, I am truly sorry. I will do my very best to start leading by example once again.

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hypers987
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 2:17 pm

We all love you Tori!!! The staff here is doing an amazing job keeping order, you especially. Tensions are high (in my personal life as well), and people flip out during the holiday season. I just hope it calms down soon! For the staff's sake!
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ljelgin
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 2:22 pm

Tori, Very well put thanks for all you do on keeping this site up and running for all of us.

I agree with everything you said and Brooke state it very well that the staff do an amazing job on this site.

Thanks to all,,
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26nikita
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 3:03 pm

This makes me sad.... I could be wrong, but I just don't think Len was being negative to Tori's post above. Come on, we know him! He has a funny sarcastic humor about him that we all know and love around here. I'm only posting this because I hate to see another one of our valued members leave because something posted got twisted into something that wasn't meant by accident. I think emotions are high right now and that makes us view things in a different light sometimes.

Tori, I would like to mention a few things here that I have noticed lately. I'm not in any way trying to be holier than thou, I really just want to help. I realize I could be wrong in some of my observations but I do hope that everyone will atleast consider the things i say and think about it.

We have got to remember that its so easy for the written word to be taken in so many different ways and can and has caused hurt feelings. I myself have had to walk away and come back later to read a post to see if I view it the same way the first time. I try really hard not to post right away when I have had a negative reaction to what was said. Most of the time, my second viewing of said post shows me that maybe I was wrong with how I thought it was suppose to mean but by then, two or three scathing remarks have been left and has escalated things. I just wish that we would start giving people the benefit of the doubt before we post with guns blazing. If you ask them if what they posted was meant as you took it and they said yes, then by all means, start your debate. I said debate, not argument because I feel there is a difference. The difference is the words you use that can give that post a positive or negative tone. Yes, i know there are some that are too sensitive but then there are some that are not sensitive at all. Lets face it, most of us here will not react kindly to a negative tone. It's in our nature to want to fight back.

When a new member joins and their choices are questioned from post one, that makes people defensive. Then they get accused of being deffensive. i'm sorry, but that doesn't help them feel better. They come on here to feel a part of a community and get told in the front door that they are making bad choices. There has got to be a better way. I don't ever feel like that was how I was treated years ago when I joined. I think if I joined today still believing what I did back then, I would have been chewed up and spit out by some on here. I never would have stayed and gained so much knowledge that has lead me to be a better pet owner. I would not be talking to all my family and friends about said new knowledge to help them become better pet owners. I can't tell you how many people I have reached that are now feeding their dogs more quality food and getting them off the crap they had them on because it was cheap. I learned that here! There is so much good information to be gained here that it makes me sad that some people will not stick around long enough to gain it because of the treatment on their welcome post. Please just think before you post. Take those negative words out and respond kindly. If you need to blow steam, isn't that part of the reason for the off topic threads?

The only other thing I want to mention is, if you are going to call some out for being rude or negative, make sure you are being fair and do it to everyone that is. I have noticed that some people get away with it and others get called on it. I do believe that this is a big issue that has been complained about on and off the forum.

Again, I am not saying these things to hurt or point fingers at anyone and I do not believe I am better than anyone else because I posted this. This is my disclaimer. Very Happy
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prentiss80
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 3:36 pm

Quote :
When a new member joins and their choices are questioned from post one, that makes people defensive. Then they get accused of being deffensive. i'm sorry, but that doesn't help them feel better. They come on here to feel a part of a community and get told in the front door that they are making bad choices.

Mindy thank you for your encouragement, because I am new and I joined this forum because I want to learn, and I have felt bad about my post. I have taken a back stand. Len has commented on my post and I took it personally. Now that I look back I guess he was using a humor about it. You hit it on the nail with your post, and I will learn not to react to what I thought was someone being unkind.
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MelissaI
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 3:56 pm

Major +1 to you Mindy! Very well said!

I love this place and if everybody just watches their tone a bit things would run much smoother. A simple Very Happy or Wink or Smile lightens up a comment in a major way, IMO. If i read something that seemed to have a negative tone, but was followed by a smiley (or something similar) I would know that the person isn't trying to rude. It's hard to express yourself over the internet without it sounding mean or negative, when all you're really doing is trying to get your opinion out there.

Tori & the rest of the staff, you guys are doing great! With how much the forum has grown, it has to be harder then before! Hugs...

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Tika
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 4:01 pm

Quote :
This makes me sad.... I could be wrong, but I just don't think Len was being negative to Tori's post above. Come on, we know him! He has a funny sarcastic humor about him that we all know and love around here. I'm only posting this because I hate to see another one of our valued members leave because something posted got twisted into something that wasn't meant by accident. I think emotions are high right now and that makes us view things in a different light sometimes.


There is indeed a lot of emotions and stress right now on the forum. Maybe it is the time of year; maybe it is due to the influx of members, maybe it is something else.

Regardless there is no reason to disrespect ANY member of the forum at any time.

A snide or sarcastic sense of humor is fine, I'll be the first to admit my own is very dry as well... I too have gotten into trouble many times due to the way I chose to phrase things or speak because of my sense of humor. It is one of the reasons why I do not post as often as other people on this forum. Sarcasm DOES NOT translate well into text.

We, the moderators and admins, are VERY aware of the change in tone of the forums as of late. We prefer all discussions are done from a respectful and thoughtful manner or point of view. Lately however, there has been more and more snideness, disrespect, or flat out bullying. This is NOT the direction we want for the forum and not the direction we feel you (the members) want either.

We are actively trying to get it back to a calm and respectful place to share our views, experiences, or a laugh. To that end :Rudeness will simply not be tolerated.

The old adage holds true here as it does ANYWHERE else. If you don't have anything nice to say don't! I understand it is frustrating at times.

- A new member comes on and asks a question about crate training or food before searching.
- Someone has a Different point of view then you do.
- Your passions or beliefs as threatened or questioned.

These things are going to come on time and time again and will happen. It is ONLY NORMAL for people to challenged your stance. If you can't respond as an adult and in a logical matter take it to PMs or flag the post for review. Don't lash out and start a Public war of words because NO ONE IS GOING TO WIN. EVER.

We need our long time members, our base, our friends, to step up and lead by example.

I'll be the first to admit that some people need a good SLAP to wake up and see the light. People who abuse their dogs, come on here pushing their food and products, or belittle members who do things a certain way. When those people come on here we all have fun with them, that is fine.

These attacks or bullying however have to stop, and that is ALL WE ARE ASKING. Go to facebook and make fun of anyone with all your friends, we don't care. Just leave it off the forums. It is childish and has no place.

Speak to each other as humans, and understand that on text based communication things will be taken the wrong way time and time again. People will Troll. People will get butt hurt and retort. Let just keep it respectful as much as we can please.

If you have an issue with any member, even a mod or admin, come to one of us with it. If you have an issue with the forum, we are just a PM away. There are a handful of us that can / could help and are happy shoot the shit with you on what is wrong. Out right disrespect for members or the forum itself is not acceptable, or helpful in anyway.

~Chris~

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Hayden_69
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 5:09 pm

Very well written Mindy! +1 to you!

I agree the forum has been a little on edge lately. I hope that everything calms down and goes back to being the respectful community that it once was when I first joined. This is an awesome forum and I enjoy coming on everyday and reading everyone's new posts and point of view.

Thanks again, to Tori and the rest of the staff for putting in the time and effort into making this place such a pleasure to sign into everyday and learn. Smile

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simplify
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 5:52 pm

While I know I haven't been on here for very long and still don't actually have my own husky, as a new member coming into an established forum with members who have been here and formed bonds I never felt unwelcome.

As someone who has made my rounds on forums and the internet in general, I have noticed recently that when new members come here and post some things - that to a lot of people seem to be common sense - the poster tends to get berated for their "lack of knowledge" or bad choices. And also as someone new to the forum, despite the fact that it is already established that so and so is full of sardonic humor, the OP or new person doesn't know that. Once everyone gets to know each other, then I think it's better to start posting in a manner that your normal personality shines through. That way the new person now knows that "oh that's so-and-so, that's just who they are/ how they post" etc.

You have to understand that this is the internet. People come here from different countries and different areas where the standard of care for animals is highly different from what we may practice. Some people are just first time dog owners and are completely clueless to the dos and don'ts of raising a puppy or just owning a dog in general. Some people don't know how to use these forums, not everyone is computer savvy and I know if I hadn't spent the last 16 years of my life using the resources that the vast internet provides, I wouldn't know how to use forums either. Also from having experience moderating forums of a different nature, everyone I worked with just sort of gave up the fact that most people don't read. Therefore all those sticky posts that have been compiled and put together as a great resource most oftentimes go overlooked until someone brings it up and is redirected to that resource.

Just like it was stated before by Mindy, Chris, and Melissa. The written word does not always read the way that the original poster may intend it to. There is no tonality in the written word; it's all perceived by the reader and most times it's not taken the way it was originally meant to be taken. Sometimes putting smiley faces (even if that's not your thang~) tends to make the tone of a paragraph seem not so "serious business" to whoever is reading it.

Now that this terrible novel is over, I am very happy to be a member here and this forum has been an invaluable resource to me as someone who has not owned a dog in a long while. I have learned so much and continue to learn something new day after day of being on this forum.

Thank you to all the staff / moderators who continue to keep this place as sane as it can get. I know how hard it can be. Smile
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jschrader
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Sat Jan 05, 2013 8:15 pm

I have noticed that there is an abundance of "snarky" comments on this forum compared to other forums. In another forum there was a discussion that could have gotten pretty heated but everyone on there behaved themselves and it was a very civil conversation, however on this forum it seems to get negative pretty quickly. I also know people have their own views, especially when it comes to pet stores vs. resuces, and spaying and neutering, but people have to realize that their view is not the "right" way, that they are pros and cons to every situation.

As for new members asking for advice that is already in a sticky...I actually enjoy responding to them, because I remember how I was when I got my puppy, and I did not always read the sticky posts. It takes less time to post a question and wait for a response rather than search through all of the threads. One of the only reasons I continue to contribue in the forum is to help other people out with similiar situations that I had with my dogs.

Anyway, just wanted to put my 2 cents in. This is a very good and informative site, I just think some people need to think before they hit the send button.
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Sheba&Kennedy
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Thu Jan 17, 2013 12:52 am

I just left a forum that I had been apart of for a couple of years because of this very reason.
The people who had been on there the longest had this superiority complex and even if somebody said something more logical then them, they all put you down and said very, very nasty things. I had commented on somebody who had an like 13 week old malamute they had since the pup was 7 weeks old and they had never trained the pup and they thought she was being dominant and trying to hump their like 2 year old kid. It became this big thing and I had honestly felt like I had been spit on and pushed into the ground.

While heated discussions are apart of the dog world, there is a difference between being passionate and being rude and crude.
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mbarnard0429
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Thu Jan 17, 2013 1:00 am

@Sheba&Kennedy wrote:
I just left a forum that I had been apart of for a couple of years because of this very reason.
The people who had been on there the longest had this superiority complex and even if somebody said something more logical then them, they all put you down and said very, very nasty things. I had commented on somebody who had an like 13 week old malamute they had since the pup was 7 weeks old and they had never trained the pup and they thought she was being dominant and trying to hump their like 2 year old kid. It became this big thing and I had honestly felt like I had been spit on and pushed into the ground.

While heated discussions are apart of the dog world, there is a difference between being passionate and being rude and crude.


You will find that a lot of us are very passionate and about different things. I'm passionate about ethical breeding and nutrition, others are passionate abotu genetics and training. The majority of us, will always have your dog in our best interests and will do our best to help. We all have moody days, but you are in a good place.

Most of are willing to listen, but you have you back things up Wink

No one knows everything - We all still have lots to learn.
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goaliechick41
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Thu Jan 17, 2013 3:17 am

Also being fairly new, but having participated in a few controversial threads already, I am INCREDIBLY pleased with how people on this site react. I have been reading back into old threads and just generally "lurking about" as well as my actual posts.
I tried to read a few other husky forums last night (no names will be named), and I couldn't find a single intelligent response to any of the questions I saw asked. I gave up fairly quickly, as it looked like a very stereotypical internet forum.
I feel that I have been treated with MUCH more respect here (even while admitting to making stupid mistakes) than any other forum on any subject I have ever been a part of.

Presenting a different point of view is wonderful, and I love how people here can accept that while they believe their way to be best, not everyone else believes the same. They state their case, but they don't push it on the other people that don't agree.
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Mobezilla
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:33 pm

I have been trying to stay on here every day, but I have to say this place has a lot of rude and judgmental people that, in my opinion, make members as myself 'under' them feel as if they are ignorant.


Last edited by Mobezilla on Sun Mar 03, 2013 10:37 am; edited 1 time in total
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Hayden_69
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:43 pm

@Mobezilla wrote:
I would just like to say one thing before I leave this forum. I have been trying to stay on here every day, but I have to say this place is a complete hell hole. You are rude. You are judgmental. You make members 'under' you feel as if they shouldn't own a husky. Every single time I see a couple of the 'elite' members post I know it is something completely uncalled for and that I shouldn't read their post, yet I do, and it makes my blood boil. I don't know how the members here put up with this kind of abuse, but I won't stand for it. Whatever you've done to try to make the forum better, has only gotten worse. You need to start putting members in their place, because I'm not going to be a part of this tyranny where no ones thought counts except for the select few.

They should start with members like you. You have no idea the kind of hard work Tori and the staff put into this place. I'm sure if they had to babysit everyone on here every time they got a boo boo they would have no life of their own or time for their own dogs. Do you realize this isn't their job, they do it out of the kindness of their heart? You are saying people are rude on here, well I'm sorry, you are the one that is rude! If you want to leave this forum, that's fine, but do it with respect. If you don't have something nice to say, don't say anything at all.
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Heather!
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:51 pm

I really don't know what has been so bad since this post has been revisited and I'm sorry you feel the way you do.
I feel like this has to be in relation to breeder posts and no one here when speaking on those topics has intentions to be rude or anything. They really don't. It's out of passion for this breed we all love. One of the main goals of members on here I feel is to shed more light on reputable breeders vs. non so that we can try to keep those who need not be breeding from getting the fuel they want to keep having the motivation they need to breed their dogs again. It's not out of spite to any posters, it's in the love of preserving the breed. We have too many homeless dogs in this world to support people breeding just because they feel like it.

I'm sorry if that turned you off. It's an important topic to be discussed.
Anyways, if you choose to leave, best to Cloud, Yuki and yourself. I have never felt superior to anyone on here because I've been around 4 years and I hope no one else does either. Your number of posts or join date really says nothing about you as an owner.

The internet is a big mixing pot. I don't think there will ever be a large community of people who see eye to eye and don't differ in opinion entirely.
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Keyda81
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Thu Jan 24, 2013 12:54 pm

@Mobezilla wrote:
I would just like to say one thing before I leave this forum. I have been trying to stay on here every day, but I have to say this place is a complete hell hole. You are rude. You are judgmental. You make members 'under' you feel as if they shouldn't own a husky. Every single time I see a couple of the 'elite' members post I know it is something completely uncalled for and that I shouldn't read their post, yet I do, and it makes my blood boil. I don't know how the members here put up with this kind of abuse, but I won't stand for it. Whatever you've done to try to make the forum better, has only gotten worse. You need to start putting members in their place, because I'm not going to be a part of this tyranny where no ones thought counts except for the select few.

I don't get it. Nobody here has made me feel like I shouldn't own a husky. There has been some rudeness from a few people, but your going to get that everywhere. It's just how some people are. But I don't see where what you call "elite" members post something uncalled for. They've all been nice to me, and answered questions I've had. You think it's bad here you should try the taxidermy forum I'm a member of. They are 100 times worse. I think this forum is pretty well kept inline. Maybe it's just me, lol.
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Mobezilla
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PostSubject: Re: PLEASE READ: New Forum Policy   Thu Jan 24, 2013 1:02 pm

@Heather! wrote:
I really don't know what has been so bad since this post has been revisited and I'm sorry you feel the way you do.
I feel like this has to be in relation to breeder posts and no one here when speaking on those topics has intentions to be rude or anything. They really don't. It's out of passion for this breed we all love.

The reason I said the things that I've said is because I feel that sometimes posts can get too out of control. I find it very judgmental. And no it wasn't the breeders post, but slightly. It is a combination of all these posts that turn into a heated argument that made me want to bang my head against the wall. I appreciate your respectful post back. I know I shouldn't fight fire with fire but yes, my post was quite rude. But I felt that it needed to be said.I wanted to continue being a part of the forum, however I know my post will draw a lot of unwanted, hateful attention. I hope that by bringing this up the forum can improve, but however I know things will probably not change.
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