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 Critical Neighbours

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Gillian
Newborn
Newborn


Female Join date : 2017-10-20
Location : Antrim, Northern Ireland

Critical Neighbours Empty
PostSubject: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptyMon Apr 20, 2020 8:02 am

My son works at a shop next door to us and his fellow employees love to criticise him over our care of our dog. They say she is underweight and that we're not looking after her properly. She is small, being the smallest in the litter, but she is very strong and feeds well and the vet says she is in good health. Fortunately they haven't made any comments recently, but does anyone else have to put up with judgemental neighbours?

Gillian
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Lostmaniac
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Senior
Lostmaniac

Female Join date : 2018-10-22
Location : Colorado

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptyMon Apr 20, 2020 9:29 am

Hmm yes spider looks anorexic when her coat is blown, and one thing ive noticed is everyone knows more about your dog then you do. They also know the breed better even if they have never met that breed. Well thats what they think anyway. Most dogs in america are over weight so when someone sees a dog thats in shape they think there is something wrong. I find people in an area i take squirt are extremely critical of squirt and her behavior. On the everyone knows more then you this is what happens with squirt. Squirt is non reactive to other dogs/people/objects when she is on a leash within reason. I do not let other dogs approach her because she cant be that close to other dogs. Every once in awhile i come across someone that thinks because i wont let thier dogs approach squirt that she should not be in public and one lady with 6 toy poodles thought squirt should be put to sleep. The ladys words "there are so many perfect dogs that any dog with an issue should be put down like that mutt you have". Thats another thing i get criticized for... none of my dogs are allowed to interact with unknown dogs.

So just ignore the guys at the shop accept that everyone thinks they know more then you and do what youve been doing.
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TwisterII
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TwisterII

Female Join date : 2013-06-14
Location : Missouri

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptyMon Apr 20, 2020 10:58 am

I'm usually the judgmental neighbor, but that's just because everyone around me lets their dogs bark constantly and never takes them for a walk.

My big male looks horrible in spring because he's allergic to everything. His hair falls out and he looks like he has mange sometimes because the pollen in the air causes his skin to itch and ooze. He gets medicated baths and his dose of prednisone goes up but there's nothing for it. Never had anyone say anything to me wondering what horrible things I do to him, but I do feel bad for him and there's nothing anyone else could do more than what I already spend a fortune doing for him. If you have a vet that will stand behind you stating that your dog is seen when it should be seen and is healthy then there's nothing their complaints can really do other than be an inconvenience.

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Critical Neighbours Egwab0VCritical Neighbours Egwam5Critical Neighbours N37SqqdCritical Neighbours N37Sm5Critical Neighbours XcwxC0CCritical Neighbours Xcwxm5
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Gillian
Newborn
Newborn


Female Join date : 2017-10-20
Location : Antrim, Northern Ireland

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptyFri May 15, 2020 4:37 pm

Thanks. They tend to be judgemental about everything that we do or else they're just winding him up because he gets frustrated easily - he's autistic. I've told him we're not doing anything wrong and what we do or don't do is none of their business.

Gillian
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Lostmaniac
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Lostmaniac

Female Join date : 2018-10-22
Location : Colorado

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptySat May 16, 2020 1:53 pm

Yesterday on the incredible dr pol they had a great analogy to this only with horses. A guy buys a thoroughbred as a barrel racer and no matter how much the horse eats it doesnt gain weight so he takes it to the vet. The vet looks at the horse and says hes a very nice looking horse but it will never look like the fat quarterhorses you are used too.

@gillian So i lived in southern Ireland for a little over a year and now that i think about it, i didnt see one husky the entire trip.
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Kdavlin15
Newborn
Newborn


Female Join date : 2020-04-28
Location : Idaho

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptySun May 24, 2020 6:18 pm

I've experienced the same judgment with my pup. Lostmaniac is correct, people seem to think they know more about your dog then you do for some reason. I have also been told that I should put Leela down because when she is excited she makes noise that sounds like snarling and she has been mistaken for aggressive. I always have to tell people, "She's friendly, she just loves to talk!" I would just ignore it, as difficult as that is when you are being accused of not taking proper care of your pet.
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Gillian
Newborn
Newborn


Female Join date : 2017-10-20
Location : Antrim, Northern Ireland

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptyWed Jun 17, 2020 7:39 pm

It's easy enough for me to ignore it as the comments are directed at my son, not me. I doubt if any of them have a husky themselves.

Emily, I am in Northern Ireland. I don't know about the south of Ireland, but there are quite a few huskies around in the town where I live.

Gillian
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Lostmaniac
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Senior
Lostmaniac

Female Join date : 2018-10-22
Location : Colorado

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptyWed Jun 17, 2020 10:20 pm

May have been the area i was in. Also my focus was 2 show ponies i was being paid to ride so i didnt do much going out. The driving on the wrong side of the road was terrifying.
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Gillian
Newborn
Newborn


Female Join date : 2017-10-20
Location : Antrim, Northern Ireland

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptyWed Sep 23, 2020 10:18 am

More criticism from the neighbours. I have stopped walking Yuki - my two younger sons walk her - since my husband took a stroke a couple of months ago and I have had to take over a lot of his roles as well as helping him remember words he wants to say in conversation. Thankfully there were no physical effects from the stroke, but he has aphasia as a result. The wife in the husband/wife team who run the business where my son works were asking why I had stopped walking the dog. One of the other workers was also asking the same question and when my son told him I needed to spend a lot of time doing things for my husband they were indignant and said that was just an excuse. The wife mentioned said my husband was fine because she'd seen him walking about. My son has autism and has difficulty explaining how things really are for my husband and they will not accept being told that what we do or don't do is none of their business.

Gillian
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amymeme
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amymeme

Female Join date : 2013-12-20

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptyWed Sep 23, 2020 1:18 pm

A good question to ask in these situations is "are you trying to hurt me?" If the say yes, then the response would be why would you want to hurt me? If the response is no, then the response would be maybe you didn't know, but when you say things like that, it is very hurtful to me.

Another tack could be "why would you say sick a thing?"

Or, an open ended statement such as "and this is your business because....?"

I'm sorry you have to go through this. My best wishes on your husband's recovery.
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Lostmaniac
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Senior
Lostmaniac

Female Join date : 2018-10-22
Location : Colorado

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PostSubject: Re: Critical Neighbours   Critical Neighbours EmptyWed Sep 23, 2020 2:29 pm

Hope his recovery goes well. Sounds like miserable people that want to make those around them miserable.

What i would do would probably, long term, not help. I would give them one chance to explain why they feel doing this is appropriate, and depending on the answer, verbally let them have it.

Years ago on the farm we ended up with major neighbor issues. Mostly it involved flies and manure management when a housing developer turned the soybean field next to us into mcmansion subdivision. We ended up with all these state agencies and the police. Didnt matter who was right at that point, it became a who had more money for lawyers problem.

It may be your son needs a new job, since they seem to enjoy upsetting him. I was disabled physically as a kid and some people are sadistic and think disability means they can do and say whatever they want to a disabled person without repercussions. Its sad and true. And from my personal experience, the more perceived status the person thinks they have, the more likely they are to treat someone with a disability as less then. Im sorry you have to go through this as a parent.
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